Tuesday, September 15, 2015

From the book: Mistress

Types of BDSM arrangements
The paperwork is always unique in the arrangement. You can’t just apply a standard document to every single relationship as every relationship is different. The general classifications as to the kinds of relationships that exist including Mentoring, Protection, Coaching, Service Oriented, Fully Owned and Play Only. Popular interactions include:
  • Master/slave – the slave gives up all rights and decision making power to the Master. If it’s a total control (TC) then slave has no to say no and without any limits; is in the Master’s control.

  • Dominant/submissive – Subs set limits on sexual play and punishment and can stop role play at any time. Here subs get a choice as to which aspects of their lives they will allow the Dominant to run. In effect, Dominants have less power over submissives than Masters have over slaves.

  • Pets – it  is an agreement where the slave have to live a life of the master’s desired  pet. Slave is dehumanized and takes on the characteristics of an animal pet like a puppy or pony under the control of an Owner.

  • Online– these are adapted situational engagement where the parties are engaged as dominance/submission over the internet. These popular parties often have multiple partners.

  • Scene only – It is a series of events usually documented which don’t encompass a whole relationship or lifestyle. Negotiated prior to a sexual play scene is done and typically focus on a one off play event. 

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Mistress: Finding my 50th shade in India

BDSM Bondage, Dominance (Discipline) and Submission (Sadism) and Masochism
BDSM is a range of erotic practices concerning dominance and submission, role-playing, restraint, and other interpersonal dynamics. And may require –
A top/dominant: partner who controls the activity
A bottom/submissive partner who is controlled
A switch: switches between roles

(SOURCE: From Wikipedia)

In the practice; a dominant person may be referred to as a ‘dom’ for a man, and a ‘domme’ for a woman. Individuals who can change between top/dominant and bottom/submissive roles—whether from relationship to relationship or within a given relationship—are known as switches.

From 1969 when the first BDSM was practiced and  drafted it has altered so far from the practice like B&D (bondage and discipline) adding S&M (sadomasochism, or sadism and masochism) to today as a catch-all phrase covering a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.

BDSM communities do not disgrace anyone with a non- normative streak or anyone who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, extreme body modification-enthusiasts, animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others.
The interaction between tops and bottoms—where physical or mental control of the bottom is surrendered to the top—is sometimes known as ‘power exchange’, whether in the context of an encounter or a relationship.
BDSM actions can often take place during a detailed period of time settled by both parties, referred to as ‘play’, a ‘scene’, or a ‘session’. Participants usually derive pleasure from this, even though many of the practices—such as inflicting pain or humiliation or being restrained—would be unpleasant under other circumstances.
Whether it is a public ‘playspace’—ranging from a party at an established community dungeon to a hosted play ‘zone’ at a nightclub or social event—the parameters of allowance can vary. Some have a policy of panties/nipple tape for women (underwear for men) and some allow full nudity with explicit sexual interaction allowed.

NOTE: It is mutual consent that makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault or domestic violence.

For their consent, they must have relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safe word will be used, what that is, and so on) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is occasionally summarized in a written ‘contract‘, which is an agreement of what can and cannot take place.

Terminology and Subtypes

Studies among BDSM practitioners in the INDIA have shown that about half of all men find the idea of bondage to be erotic; and many women do as well. Strictly speaking, bondage means binding the partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of handcuffs  or by lashing  their arms to an object. Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with chains to a St. Andrew's cross or spreader bars.

BDSM is all about rules and punishment; more the  discipline more the chances of getting perks and less discipline leads to Punishment, which is the sweetest pain caused physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as a public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically (for example, chaining the submissive partner to the foot of a bed).

Hard BDSM sessions are the level 2 session, which can expose the Submissive to a wide range of sensual impressions, for example: pinching, biting, scratching with fingernails, spanking or the use of various objects such as crops, whips, liquid wax, ice cubes, Wartenberg wheels, erotic electro-stimulation or others.
 Trust and sexual arousal help the partners enter a shared mindset.

Professional Services

A professional dominatrix or professional dominant, often referred to within the culture as a ‘pro-dom(me)’, offers services encompassing the range of bondage, discipline, and dominance in exchange for money. The term ‘dominatrix’ is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene. A non-professional dominant woman is more commonly referred to simply as a ‘domme’, ‘dominant’, or ‘femdom’. There are also services provided by professional female submissive (‘pro-subs’).
Males also work as professional ‘tops’ in BDSM, and are called ‘masters’ or ‘doms’. However, it is much rarer to find a male in this profession.


During the last years the Internet also provides a central platform for networking among individuals who are interested in the subject. Besides countless private and commercial choices there are an increasing number of local networks and support groups emerging. These groups often offer comprehensive background and health related information for people who have been unwillingly outed as well as contact lists with information on psychologists, physicians and lawyers who are familiar with BDSM related topics.